Live project evaluation

The prospect of a project, involving live clients petrified me when I first received this brief. I was embarrassed of my work, partly down to the fact I had very little of it. Most of the work I’d produced was in a rush for past projects, it was poor in quality and had little direction. I lacked confidence in my abilities and had been embarrassed to present my work to other people on the course, believing it would be laughed at. Knowing this, it is not surprising I would have been worried to work for a live client with fear of rejection. I have continuously struggled with these issues since I started visual communication, and with a negative attitude towards my practice it has made me more and more reluctant to produce work regularly meaning I have neglected my drawing abilities, not allowing them to develop Obviously this action on my part has resulted in mediocre grades. It had become a no-win situation.
I set about this brief with much the same attitude, turning up for my first crit with a selection of average drawings, old, marked and crumpled, and I wasn’t too keen to get them out for everyone to have a gawp at especially as Richard was in my crit and his illustration work is amazing. Sophie and Nick didn’t seem as interested in the work I had brought with me but more the direction I wanted to go with it. I had planned to address several briefs, contacting a few clients and entering competitions but it soon became apparent I was clueless and unprepared for both of these ambitions. I also felt uncomfortable with this idea, still lacking the portfolio and confidence I needed.
It was suggested I set myself drawing projects, picking random objects and people as subjects and concentrating on getting back to grips with drawing. I left the crit feeling positive and ready to tackle some work.
It took me a few days to put pen to paper, and when I did I sat there for a few hours not knowing where to start. Looking through illustration and art books inspired me on one level but on another, only belittled my work, making it seem ridiculous. I wanted to develop my style trying new things and experimented with acrylic and inks. Some methods worked well, others not so well. I went to my tutorial with a handful of these experimental drawings, getting better feedback than expected.
This gave my confidence a boost and I soon began realizing I wasn’t as awful as I kept telling myself.
After a few weeks of constant drawing, I had found the methods that worked for me, and surprisingly these were quick and easy. I had been using a lot of collage with paper. I really like the contrast of textures along with pen and ink. The more I draw, the easier it became and the more work I produced. Throughout this time my style developed, I still stuck to using Indian inks and scrawls but in a more controlled way. With this development of style I progressed to using Photoshop. At the beginning, my skills went as far as using a scanner but I set myself a day to sit and play around with different tools. I mastered basic paint and airbrush tools, and altered the brightness and colors on my work. I found the results satisfying, even if the process had been a little tedious. After a further crit I was asked to put my work into context so used these new-found skills to Photoshop my work into an existing magazine context. The edges were visible and it was a shame that the text had little relevance to my own work but at a glance it was exciting to see. It made satisfied my curiosities as to what my work would look like in a magazine format and got me excited to think this could be a possibility if I contacted potential clients.
I had contacted Scarlet Magazine in hope of a response regarding this request but with no avail. Another e-mail, and still no response. This hasn’t deterred my efforts though, I will continue hassling them, especially as it is a magazine I am very interested in as it covers issues such as feminism which directly coincide with my interests, and I believe my work would complement their publication.
It has took me this long to identify my strengths as an illustrator. I am pleased with the amount of work I have been able to produce, it is more than I have done in the past two years. My work is also of a higher quality and I am no-longer embarrassed by it.
Yes, it is a shame this live project has not opened any doorways to ‘live’ work but in another wayss I am glad I have given myself some time to gain my passion and love for what I set out to do when I started this course. I was not ready to contact clients, and I very much doubt they would have wanted to contact me with such a negative attitude. Now, I have a bulk of work I am proud to show people, and a new-found work ethic. Illustration is what I want to do, I want to sit down and draw, and the more I do the easier it becomes. Surely, it has been worth sacrificing a small live job for the confidence and happiness I have gained with this time alone to myself, not to mention a portfolio that will hopefully get me far more jobs than the one I came to this project with.
I will continue to develop my work, and continue to find drawing a pleasure more than a chore. I will also develop my photoshop skills and maybe even branch into illustrator as I have learnt using technology isn’t such a bad thing, it can increase the professionalism of my work and broaden the variety of my portfolio widening my services to different clients.
Overall this project has been a great experience for me, I only wish It had happened earlier, before I was finishing my second year but I know I can averaage out a better mark when I start third year with a fresh perspective.